I was sitting on my own in a restaurant when I saw a beautiful woman at another table.
I sent her a bottle of most expensive wine on the menu
She sends me a note,
“I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pants.”
So i wrote back,”
Return me the wine; As gorgeous as you are, I’m not cutting off three inches for anyone.”
One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and…
A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, “Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how…
A Swede, an Irishman, a Scotsman, and their wives went golfing one day. As they approached the first tee, the Swede’s wife stepped up to take her…
A little old lady went to the grocery store and put the most expensive cat food in her basket. She then went to the check out counter…
There is a diner in New Orleans that advertises that it will serve you anything you want…but if they can’t, they will give you $5,000 as an…
A pregnant woman went to the gynecologist, and when asked that was the problem, she responded, “Well, whenever I take off my clothes, my melons get hard.”…