A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine.
Officer: You were speeding.
Man: No, I wasn’t.
Officer: Yes, you were. I’m giving you a ticket.
Man: But I wasn’t speeding.
Officer: Tell that to the judge!(The officer gives man the ticket.)
Man: Would I get another ticket if (called you a jerk?)
Officer: Yes, you would
Man ; what if just thought that you were ?
Officer: I can’t give you a ticket for what you think.
Man: Fine, I think you’re a jerk!
An old man walks up to the counter of a pawn shop holding an old, weathered guitar: “I’d like your expert opinion on this guitar, how much…
A guy takes his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how…
A middle-aged man was tired of his job in the city and wanted a place where he could relax. So he decided to go to the seaside…
“Doctor,” the man said, “I don’t mind telling you, but I’m a little upset because my daughter has red hair She can’t possibly be mine.” “Nonsense,” the…
Little Johnny is in class one day and little Timmy starts laughing. The teacher says what’s so funny? He said I can see your bra strap. The…
A man asked his wife what she’d like for her 40th birthday. “I’d love to be six again,” she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he…