A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine.
Officer: You were speeding.
Man: No, I wasn’t.
Officer: Yes, you were
I’m giving you a ticket.
Man: But I wasn’t speeding.
Officer: Tell that to the judge!(The officer gives man the ticket.)
Man: Would I get another ticket if (called you a jerk?)
Officer: Yes, you would
Man ; what if just thought that you were ?
Officer: I can’t give you a ticket for what you think.
Man: Fine, I think you’re a jerk!
A young boy says to his father “Dad, our maths teacher is asking to see you.” “What happened?” The father asks. “Well, she asked me, ‘how much…
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room….
A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again, decided to leave a note, saying, “I’ve had enough and have left you. Don’t bother coming…
A lady went into a bar in Texas and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had the biggest boots she’d ever…
A married man was visiting his girlfriend when she requested he shave his beard off. “Oh Paddy.” she said, “Please shave it off, I want to see…
A hunter spots a grizzly bear 1,000 yards away, but due to some thick bushes he can’t get any closer, so he aims his rifle and fires….