A guy comes home very late one night, trying to sneak through the front door as quietly as possible.

But the second he steps inside, the hallway light snaps on.

His wife is standing there in her robe, arms crossed, looking like she has been waiting for hours.

“Where the hell have you been?” she demands.

The guy freezes for a second, then gives her a calm little smile.

“I was out getting a tattoo,” he says.

She blinks. “A tattoo? At this hour?”

“Yeah.”

Her eyes narrow with suspicion. “What kind of tattoo?”

He shifts proudly and says, “I got a hundred-dollar bill tattooed on my manhood.”

For a few seconds, she just stares at him in complete silence.

Then she explodes.

“A hundred-dollar bill? On your penis? Are you out of your mind? What kind of grown man comes home in the middle of the night and says something like that?”

He shrugs, still grinning.

“Honestly, honey, I had three very good reasons.”

She throws her hands up. “Oh, this should be good. Let’s hear them.”

He says, “One—I like to watch my money grow.”

She rolls her eyes.

“Two—every now and then, I enjoy playing with my money.”

She looks even more annoyed.

“And three,” he says, smiling wider, “this way, instead of going shopping, you can stay home and blow a hundred bucks.”