The teacher stood in front of the class and said, “Today, I want each of you to use the word fascinate in a sentence.”

Molly raised her hand first.

“My family went to my granddad’s farm,” she said, “and we saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”

The teacher smiled. “That’s a good sentence, Molly, but I asked for fascinate, not fascinating.”

Then Sally raised her hand.

“My family visited Rock City,” she said, “and I was fascinated by the view.”

“Very nice, Sally,” said the teacher, “but again, I need the exact word fascinate.”

At the back of the room, Little Johnny’s hand shot up.

The teacher froze.

She knew Little Johnny. She knew his history. She knew every time she trusted him, somehow the lesson ended badly.

But she thought, How much trouble can he possibly cause with the word fascinate?

So she sighed and said, “All right, Johnny. Go ahead.”

Little Johnny stood up proudly and said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons…”

The teacher smiled, relieved.

Johnny continued, “…but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight.”

The classroom went silent.

The teacher sat down, put her head in her hands, and cried.