An elderly woman from California purchased a piece of timberland in Oregon.

There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract.

She wanted to get a good view of her land, so she started to climb the big tree.

As she neared the top, she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her.

In her haste to escape, she slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her private parts.

In considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest doctor.

He listened to her story then told her to go into the examining room and he would see if he could help her.

She sat and waited for three hours before the doctor reappeared.

The angry woman demanded, ” What took you so long?” and he replied

“Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area.”