A man is brought in by paramedics to a busy New York emergency room. He has a heavy concussion, a split lip, two black eyes, and a twisted five-iron golf club wrapped tightly around his throat. 

The doctor brings him around and asks what happened.

The man gathers himself and says,
“Well, it was like this. I was having a peaceful round of golf with my wife when, on a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went looking for them, and while I was searching, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.

So I walked over, lifted the cow’s tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife’s monogram on it — stuck right in the middle of the cow’s backside. That’s when I made my big mistake.”

“Big mistake?” the doctor asks. “What did you do?”

“Well,” the man replies, “I lifted the cow’s tail and yelled over to my wife,
‘Hey, honey… this looks like yours!’”

He pauses.
“I don’t remember much after that.”