A woman walked into the police station with her next-door neighbor to report her husband missing.
The officer asked for a description.
She said, “He’s 35, 6-foot-4, dark wavy hair, dreamy brown eyes, athletic build, soft-spoken, and just wonderful with the kids.”
Her neighbor looked stunned and blurted out, “What?! Your husband is 5-foot-4, bald, has a beer belly, yells all the time, and the kids run when they see him!”
The wife calmly smiled and said,
“I know. But who wants HIM back?
Upon landing hard, the pilot got on the PA system, “Sorry, folks, for the hard landing. It wasn’t my fault, blame it on the asphalt.” On this…
Darryl and Harold were the best patients in a mental institution. The place had an unusual annual contest, picking two of the best patients and giving them…
Two cowboys came upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, “You…
Three drunk guys are sitting behind a couple of nuns at a football game (whose habits partially blocked the view). In an effort to get the nuns…
When Pat and Mike met each other on the street one day, Pat noticed that Mike had a terrible cold. “Have you seen a doctor about that…
Three priests were having lunch in a restaurant. One said, “You know, all summer I have been having trouble with bats in the belfry. I’ve tried everything…