A drunk walks into a crowded bar and takes the last barstool next to an older woman.
After a while, the woman starts to smell this horrible odour coming from the direction of the drunk.
She turns to him and says, “Excuse me, Mister, but did you just shit yourself?”
The drunk replied, “Yes ma’am, I have indeed shit myself.”
The woman says, “Well, why don’t you go somewhere and clean yourself up?”
The drunk says, “‘Cos I’m not finished yet…”
A woman walked into a pet shop one afternoon and noticed a beautiful, colorful parrot sitting quietly in a large cage. What surprised her most was the…
A guy goes over to his friend’s house, rings the bell, and the wife answers. “Hi, is Tony home?” “No, he went to the store.” “Well, you…
One afternoon, a little boy came home from school looking absolutely miserable. He slammed his backpack onto the floor and collapsed onto the couch with a dramatic…
Three men are sitting in the sauna. Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The first man presses his forearm and the beeping stops. The others look at…
Mary and Bob have been back from their honeymoon for two weeks when Bob came home from work saying he’d invited four friends from the office home…
A doctor woke up in the middle of the night needing the bathroom, only to discover that his toilet was completely blocked. Annoyed, he went back to…