A man and his wife are at a high school reunion…
… and the husband keeps staring at a gorgeous drunken lady swigging her gin at a nearby table, glass after glass.
His wife turns to him and asks, “Do you know her?”
“Yes,” sighs the husband.
She’s my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.”
“My God!” says the wife.
“Who would think a person could go on celebrating for that long?”
Little Billy came home from school to see the families pet rooster d*ad in the front yard. Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on…
A man calls his home while on a business trip. An unfamiliar voice answers the phone. Man: “Who is this?” Answer comes, “A am the maid.” Man:…
Little Johnny went fishing with his father one quiet Saturday morning. They sat together in a small boat on the lake, waiting patiently for the fish to…
A group of men were sitting around one evening, talking and joking about life, age, relationships, and sports. One of them leaned back in his chair and…
Three men — a Scotsman, an Englishman, and an Irishman — were walking along the beach one afternoon when they spotted an old lantern half-buried in the…
A guy goes into the same diner every single morning. Every day, he grabs the menu, studies it like he’s making a life-changing decision…then orders the exact…