A woman is standing looking in the bedroom mirror…
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband:
“I feel horrible …
I look old, fat, and ugly …
I really need you to pay me a compliment.”
The husband replies:
“Your eyesight’s damn near perfect”
After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem…
A wife asks her husband, “Honey, if I died, would you remarry?” “After a considerable period of grieving,” he says, “I guess I would. We all need…
A man walks into a bar with his dog and says to the bartender, “This is the most talented dog in the world. He can talk!” The…
A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past.The lizard looks up and says “Hey, what are you doing?” The monkey…
A road crew supervisor hired a nice-looking blonde woman to assist with painting the yellow line down the middle of the road. He was skeptical about hiring…
One night a blonde nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her. “My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of…