A man and his wife are at a high school reunion and the husband keeps staring at a gorgeous drunken lady swigging her gin at a nearby table, glass after glass.
His wife turns to him and asks, “Do you know her?”
“Yes,” sighs the husband. She’s my ex-wife.
She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.”
“My God!” says the wife.
“Who would think a person could go on celebrating for that long?”
One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and…
A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, “Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how…
A Swede, an Irishman, a Scotsman, and their wives went golfing one day. As they approached the first tee, the Swede’s wife stepped up to take her…
A little old lady went to the grocery store and put the most expensive cat food in her basket. She then went to the check out counter…
There is a diner in New Orleans that advertises that it will serve you anything you want…but if they can’t, they will give you $5,000 as an…
A pregnant woman went to the gynecologist, and when asked that was the problem, she responded, “Well, whenever I take off my clothes, my melons get hard.”…