Husband gets home and tells his wife:
“quick, get me a beer before it starts.”
She gets the beer.
He chugs it and says
“quick, get me another before it starts.”
She obliges.
Husband again chugs it and says
“quick, get me another beer before it starts.”
The wife replies
“if you want another beer you lazy bastard get your fat ass up and get it yourself!”
Husband murmurs
“shit, it started.”
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One night a blonde nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her. “My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of…
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