A guy came home late one night, trying to sneak through the front door as quietly as possible.

Unfortunately for him, his wife was already waiting in the hallway with her arms crossed and a look that could stop traffic.

“Where have you been?” she demanded.

He cleared his throat. “I was out getting a tattoo.”

“A tattoo?” she said, narrowing her eyes. “At this hour? What kind of tattoo?”

He hesitated for a second, then said, “I got a hundred-dollar bill tattooed on my manhood.”

His wife stared at him in total disbelief.

“You did what?”

“A hundred-dollar bill,” he repeated.

She threw her hands in the air. “Have you completely lost your mind? Why would any grown man do something that stupid?”

He leaned against the wall, looking far too pleased with himself.

“Well,” he said, “I had three good reasons.”

She glared at him. “This better be good.”

He counted on his fingers.

“One, I like to watch my money grow.

Two, every now and then, I enjoy playing with my money.

And three…”

He grinned and added,

“This way, instead of going shopping, you can stay home and blow a hundred bucks.”