An elderly couple sat down for a TV interview.
The wife: smiling, full of energy.
The husband: already asleep on her shoulder…
Zzz… Zzz…
The host asked:
“After all these years… ever considered divorce?”
She smiled sweetly:
“Oh heaven no… never.”
pause… looks at him snoring
“…Murder? Every single day.”
Husband: still snoring louder.
And that’s 60 years of marriage…
still going strong—
one near-murder at a time.
An Irishman was drinking in a bar in London when he gets a call on his cell phone. He orders drinks for everybody in the bar as…
A guy goes to Vegas to gamble, but luck is NOT on his side.He loses every last dollar—even his cab fare! Desperate, he flags down a taxi…
A blonde bought two horses and could never remember which was which. A neighbor suggested that she cut off the tail of one horse, which worked great…
An architect, an artist, and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed…
“Sir, I understand you admit to having broken into the dress shop four times,” the judge said. “Yes, Your Honor,” the suspect replied. “What did you steal?”…
Bob had a habit of enjoying his evenings a bit too much, and one night was no exception. He stumbled into bed late, slipping in quietly beside…