A Woman Gets To Call The Shots At The Pearly Gates

They sometimes say that everyone wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die. I think that is true, and it may be part of the reason why jokes about dying and going to heaven are often the funniest.

Many of them involve standing at the pearly gates and inviting people into heaven in some way or another. A good joke will often have a test involved, one that really lets the person at the pearly gates decide whether the person can come in or not.

We see something similar in the following joke. It involves a woman who has the opportunity to call the shots at the pearly gates with the funniest results.

A woman died and went to heaven…

She got to the pearly gates to find an angel waiting.

“What do I have to do to get in,” she asked.

“You just have to spell a word,” the angel replied.

“That doesn’t sound bad, what word do I have to spell?”

“Love.”

Relieved, the woman quickly fired off, “L-O-V-E”.

The angel nodded and opened the gate.

Many months passed and one day the angel guarding the gate approached the woman and asked if she would mind watching the gate for the day.

The woman agreed and assumed her post.

While she’s there, a man approached the gate, and it was none other than her husband!

“Oh, my love!,” she cried, “What has happened to you so soon?”

“My dear, I was a wreck the day you left me. I fell into a deep depression that couldn’t be beaten. When you were in that accident, I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. I could do nothing but mourn for you,” he said.

“I hope you eventually were able to move on and not live with that pain for too long,” she consoled.

“Actually,” he replied, “There was a nurse that took wonderful care of you, and me as well!”

“We eventually became very close, and she helped me so much. I eventually asked her to marry me. We were on our honeymoon when I got into a terrible skiing accident.”

“That’s why I’m here! so… what do I have to do to get in?”

“You simply have to spell a word,” she informed him.

“That’s it? What a relief! What word do I have to spell,” he inquired.

She replied,

“Baccalaureate.”

Related Posts

TXT: The Parrot With a Past

A woman walked into a pet shop one afternoon and noticed a beautiful, colorful parrot sitting quietly in a large cage. What surprised her most was the…

A guy goes over to his friend house

A guy goes over to his friend’s house, rings the bell, and the wife answers. “Hi, is Tony home?” “No, he went to the store.” “Well, you…

The Unjust “F”

One afternoon, a little boy came home from school looking absolutely miserable. He slammed his backpack onto the floor and collapsed onto the couch with a dramatic…

Three men are sitting in the sauna.

Three men are sitting in the sauna. Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The first man presses his forearm and the beeping stops. The others look at…

Mary and Bob have been back from their honeymoon

Mary and Bob have been back from their honeymoon for two weeks when Bob came home from work saying he’d invited four friends from the office home…

TXT: A Doctor gets taken short up in the middle of the night

A doctor woke up in the middle of the night needing the bathroom, only to discover that his toilet was completely blocked. Annoyed, he went back to…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *