A married Irishman went into the confessional and said, “Father, I need to confess. I almost had an affair with another woman.”

The priest leaned closer. “What do you mean, almost?”

The Irishman sighed. “Well, we got undressed, and we rubbed together… but then I stopped before anything else happened.”

The priest frowned. “My son, rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You must never see that woman again.”

The Irishman nodded solemnly.

“For your penance,” the priest continued, “say five Hail Marys and put fifty dollars in the poor box.”

The Irishman left the confessional, knelt down, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.

He stood there for a moment, took a fifty-dollar bill from his pocket, rubbed it slowly across the top of the box, and started to leave.

The priest, who had been watching from across the church, hurried over.

“Wait a minute!” he said. “I saw that. You didn’t put the money in the poor box!”

The Irishman looked at him calmly and replied:

“Yeah, but I rubbed the fifty dollars on the box…”

Then he smiled and added:

“And according to you, that’s the same as putting it in.”