A friend once said:
“In English, M is straight…
but W is upside down.”
I didn’t get it… until today.
I stepped into an elevator.
A woman and a little girl walked in.
I smiled and asked:
“Second or third?”
She snapped:
“Excuse me?! I’m NOT married!
This is my neighbor’s daughter!”
— awkward silence —
She storms out.
Me, standing there like:
“…I just meant the FLOOR.”
A woman walked into a pet shop one afternoon and noticed a beautiful, colorful parrot sitting quietly in a large cage. What surprised her most was the…
A guy goes over to his friend’s house, rings the bell, and the wife answers. “Hi, is Tony home?” “No, he went to the store.” “Well, you…
One afternoon, a little boy came home from school looking absolutely miserable. He slammed his backpack onto the floor and collapsed onto the couch with a dramatic…
Three men are sitting in the sauna. Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The first man presses his forearm and the beeping stops. The others look at…
Mary and Bob have been back from their honeymoon for two weeks when Bob came home from work saying he’d invited four friends from the office home…
A doctor woke up in the middle of the night needing the bathroom, only to discover that his toilet was completely blocked. Annoyed, he went back to…