A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine.
Officer: You were speeding.
Man: No, I wasn’t.
Officer: Yes, you were. I’m giving you a ticket.
Man: But I wasn’t speeding.
Officer: Tell that to the judge!(The officer gives man the ticket.)
Man: Would I get another ticket if (called you a jerk?)
Officer: Yes, you would
Man ; what if just thought that you were ?
Officer: I can’t give you a ticket for what you think.
Man: Fine, I think you’re a jerk!
A woman walked into a pet shop one afternoon and noticed a beautiful, colorful parrot sitting quietly in a large cage. What surprised her most was the…
A guy goes over to his friend’s house, rings the bell, and the wife answers. “Hi, is Tony home?” “No, he went to the store.” “Well, you…
One afternoon, a little boy came home from school looking absolutely miserable. He slammed his backpack onto the floor and collapsed onto the couch with a dramatic…
Three men are sitting in the sauna. Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The first man presses his forearm and the beeping stops. The others look at…
Mary and Bob have been back from their honeymoon for two weeks when Bob came home from work saying he’d invited four friends from the office home…
A doctor woke up in the middle of the night needing the bathroom, only to discover that his toilet was completely blocked. Annoyed, he went back to…